It seems like for quite a while, our family has been praying to find others around us that could use our service. It got to the point where I felt like it was just something we repeated and didn't really ever think about it anymore. Once in a while, I'd offer to take someone's cart for them at the grocery store, or hold a baby for a mom in church But for the most part, I'm a stay at home mom and I rarely came in contact with anyone, let alone find people who need service. I know I've heard in church that we're supposed to serve others, and I know how I feel when I do service. But most days, I feel like my contribution to society is keeping my kids from killing each other, keep laundry done, make sure everyone is fed, fit some homework in, and maybe get the house clean along the way. I justified that I was serving my family and when they were older, I'd find others to serve.
Last Sunday was Ward Conference. In Relief Society, one of the counselors in the Stake Presidency spoke about three things. He spoke about the importance of being nice to others, especially in what we say; forgiveness, of ourselves, our families, and others; and of service and doing good for others. It was a great talk and I feel like I brought stuff away from all parts of it, but the one that's sticking with me today is service. I came home and decided that my kids were all in school and I should be able to think of some way to help someone out every day.
Early in the week, I decided that I could be a better visiting teacher and made sugar cookies to take to the ladies I visit with. That day, my kids also took some cookies over to our neighbors; one of which we've had a falling out with and she refuses to talk to me (hence, I sent my kids :)). Neither neighbor opened the door, so my kids left the cookies on the doorstep. I was thinking it wasn't a great start, but I was thinking of others and my kids had a great time taking cookies around. That night I was able to visit two of my ladies that I have a hard time catching up with because they are usually available in the evening and by evening, I'm focused on my family.
Tuesday, I got to visit with another lady that I have a hard time catching. I've made appointments with her, but she's not there when I go. I finally just dropped in and caught her home. We had a great talk and I think the cookies helped soften her up (why wouldn't they, right?).
Wednesday, I went into town to run some errands and decided to go to the temple as long as I was there. During the session, there was a lady that was struggling with a few things. Usually, I'm the type that will worry I'm going to offend her if I offer to help, so I sit there. That day, I gathered up my courage and decided to just help. She didn't seem offended at all and gave me a big smile and a thank you. Lesson learned. That night, I also got a thank you card that my neighbor (the one who won't talk to me) had stuck in my mailbox. Progress? I hope so.
Thursday, I went and helped in Zoey's class and ate lunch with her. This day, I realized that even things that I've been doing for so long were affecting me more. I loved being in Zoey's class and eating lunch with her. I loved her big, fat squeeze and smile as she ran off to join her class.
I have to admit, yesterday was the best day of the week . . . and the worst. I finally got to visit with the last lady and give her her cookies. She had been in a car accident about a month ago and it was good to see her feeling a little better. At home, I had a ton of things to do. I had spent the morning going grocery shopping and getting stuff to work on the salon. Nathan and I were going to a concert that night, so we had called a babysitter. I always feel like my house needs to be clean when we have a babysitter, so I spent the afternoon cleaning. I wasn't quite done when the kids got home from school, so I finished up downstairs and came upstairs only to see that they had tracked mud all through my dining room, kitchen, and bathroom. I have a hard time with that anyway, but yesterday I just wanted it to be clean when the babysitter came. I gave them a broom and a mop and made them clean it up. Then, went back downstairs and they had messed up the playroom and family room. By the time Nathan came home, I was done and ready to not be home. But, I also wasn't too excited to go to the concert. Nathan had gotten free tickets from his work to a messo soprano concert. Sometimes that would be okay, but not last night. As we were eating dinner, a friend texted me and asked if we happened to be coming into town tonight. Really, we hardly ever go into town, but we were, so I texted her back. She said that they had gone into town to do a major grocery shopping trip and she'd left her wallet at home. She told me where it was and we said we'd be there in a little while. We picked up the babysitter, found the wallet, and headed into town. On the way in, Nathan and I talked about the concert. He wasn't all that excited to go either, so we decided to play hooky. We dropped off the wallet and went to Sam's Club to sign me up for a card (Nathan got an account pretty cheap through his new job, but I hadn't gone in yet). Then we decided to window shop in Sam's to see what was there. We were over in the deli section, when a guy came by rolling a cart asking who wanted a free chicken. They were fully cooked rotisserie chickens. We decided to take one. I decided to buy some towels for my salon and Nathan wanted some good cheese for our Sunday night. We checked out and on the way out, there was the guy again asking if we wanted another chicken. We said we were fine, and he asked if any of our neighbors wanted any. We took another one. When we put them out in the car, I noticed potatoes in the back of our car. Nathan had been doing a project for work with potatoes and they had a LOT left over. They sent him home with 2 50 lb. boxes. I don't think we'd ever be able to use 100 lbs. of potatoes before they went bad. We decided there was someone out there who would love a chicken and a box of potatoes. I texted a friend to see if she was home and she was in town and was excited to have a chicken and box of potatoes. We met her family at WalMart and handed off the food. I loved our impromptu service date last night. It was one of the funnest nights we've had in a long time.
So, here are some things I've learned over the last week. I'm writing these down because I know that I don't always remember things. As much as something might affect me at the time, I know that in a few weeks/months/years I will probably need to be reminded of it again. I'm hoping that at some point, I can go back and read this and re-learn my lesson. I learned that doing service doesn't have to take over your life, but it does give a lot more meaning to your life. It is good to step out of my little family life and see others around me, even if I have to force myself to step out my front door to see others around me. I learned that the more service I do, the better I feel about even the smallest acts of service. I also learned that it is important to ask for, accept, and be grateful for service. Nathan and I both noticed last night that the friends we helped out were willing to ask for help when they needed it. (It was not a big deal for us to go pick up the wallet, but it would have been a big, fat deal for them to have to come back and get it. It also gave us the opportunity to do service that we didn't know was needed, or wouldn't have thought of.) We also noticed that both friends didn't try to tell us that they didn't need help, they were outwardly very grateful and showed us how excited they were. I realized that that is how we are supposed to be. Both of those friends have helped me out in the past and have no question in my mind if they would help me in a second if I needed it. But they were also willing to let me help them and let me know it. I realized that if we try to downplay our need for help, and then give a half-hearted thank you because we're embarassed, or wish we didn't need the help, or try to refuse help when someone has been thinking of us; the other person often doesn't feel very appreciated. But if, like my friends, we're very grateful and let others serve us, it makes them feel awesome about doing service. We are commanded to serve others, which means that we are also commanded to let others serve us because if no one let anyone serve them, there wouldn't be any service to give. I loved giving service this week, but I also realized that I have a hard time accepting service. I would love to continue to think of others and give service, but I'm also hoping that I can think of the other lessons I've learned this week when I am in need of service.
